Stream of Consciousness – Journal Entries Transcribed?

So I’m getting into the habit of daily writing to get back into the groove, strengthen my creative writing muscles and more often than not I have found myself scribbling along in the pages of my journal or notebooks wondering “Wow, I should include this is my blog!” It feels a little weird because I’m not entirely sure that essentially transcribing my journal, where I jot down all my innermost thoughts and feelings, is what I started a blog for. But then again, I had no clear intention when I started a blog anyway so maybe this is actually it!

I mean, I do have this silly little dream of one day being a writer… you know, the kind that gets paid to put their ideas somewhere and share it with the masses. It’s always been a dream of mine. Always. I’ve only recently begun to realize that my dream is even partially achievable, let alone totally doable with the right tools and mindset. So I guess, why not bare my soul to my tiny little space on the internet and see what comes of it? Worst case scenario, people from high school find it and go, “Omg, did you see Jordan stared a blog and she’s like totally weird now?” The nice part is that hey, at least they’re talking about my blog and doing some of the referral work for me.

I’ve pretty much always had the gall to speak my mind in the right setting so I’m not really sure why I allow myself to feel restricted in the sense that I shouldn’t do it here. I can’t even guarantee anyone I really know will read this stuff anyway…. at least until I start posting about it on my social media accounts… which, I think, is just around the corner. I’ve left subtle clues here and there but, for whatever reason, I haven’t gone for the full on “AYE I STARTED A BLOG!” post on socials just yet.

I think it’s because I know people will come look, have thoughts and opinions, and then I won’t get any of the feedback or insight that those thoughts and opinions would provide! Like people already come and check this page out without liking or commenting, which is fine, whatever, I get it. I don’t comment on like 95% of the things I encounter on the internet either. But what other way do people have to gain feedback unless you take the time to let someone specifically know “Hey, I checked out your stuff. I like this, you could work on this and I would be more interested in reading it like once a week or once a month” …? Oh wait, that’s right. The age of the internet is all about the views… *eye roll directly into Logan and Jake Paul’s souls*

I guess what I’m getting at is, I wish that when people come across my blog the content on here would be so compelling or interesting or noteworthy they at least push like or leave some sort of comment (literally anything) with some sort of feedback to know I’m not just screaming into the void. Even though… screaming into the void is kind of my favorite pass time activity, so do I really want the void to start talking back?

I’m not really looking for any specific answers here… and yet, somehow I am.

I keep feeling this deep desire to connect with internet friends in a more meaningful way, but then I end up going back to Facebook or Instagram and using it the same ways I always have. I can’t decide if it’s me or the intangible aspects of life that need to change. Maybe I’m just using it wrong? Maybe I can have a super awesome friendship with people on the internet if I just stopped holding myself back? I’m already pretty cool with making myself look like a weirdo all of the time anyway, why stop here?

Let me know if you come up with any good answers for that… I’m still trying to work them out myself. 😉

 

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