In the past two months, I’ve been posting less than I originally planned when I fired this blog back into action.
I don’t exactly think it’s for lack of ideas about what to write. I have at least 15-20 partially written blog posts cued up in my drafts anyhow, with new ideas popping into my head regularly.
However, I’ve come to realize that I may have made a “mistake” on my blogging journey by blasting my blog all over my personal social media accounts and telling all my friends and family about it.
Which, in itself, seems counterintuitive, right?
Like if I want a blog to get readers and grow I should be telling everyone about it.
So I did!
Now, my issue is not about getting views. It seems to be quite the opposite. I’m now slightly intimidated by the amount of family that are reading it. To the point that I think it may be stifling my creativity.
Overall, I don’t think I regret putting myself out there and crossing the threshold of linking my blog with my identity. However, I am faced with new challenges as to how I can write about the things I want to write about without it having a significant negative impact on my personal life and relationships.
Let’s get a little more specific here…
I’ve had recent conversations or experiences with friends or family that have brought forth some very interesting and enlightening writing topics. I’ve even started writing some of them. But when it comes time to put my own snarky spin on the ideas I had or put out my true opinion on the matter, I start to get uncomfortable with the thought of potential confrontation. While I am a highly opinionated individual, I try to avoid confrontation. It tends to get me nowhere if I’m being honest.
I’m attempting to walk the delicate balance between sharing my opinions without appearing to put someone on blast or paint myself as superior because I’m not.
Hence why I’ve begun to wonder if I’ve made a mistake foregoing my opportunity to be somewhat anonymous online…
I follow a variety of other bloggers who are anonymous, partially anonymous, or not at all anonymous and it seems that the anonymous group is not at all stifled by what they want to write. If one day they want to share some fascinating insight on the meaning of life, they can! And if the next day they want to share a recipe or what products they’re currently using, they do! I’m a little jealous that other people who don’t connect to their personal social media have that flexibility to be seemingly more authentically themselves.
After connecting to my social media I almost feel as though I’ve painted myself into yet another box of expectation and perceived judgment. No one has said one negative thing about my choice to start a blog or what I write about (at least to my face), and here I am being worried about if the certain things I want to post are going to fit in this imaginary niche that I haven’t actually even created for myself.
I’m such an overthinker.
Which is precisely why I started a blog. I wanted a space for all my ramblings and overly analytical thoughts to exist without taking up so much real estate in my head. I think regardless of where I connect it, I should continue to do so.
I guess I’ll just have to face the inevitable uncomfortable conversation when someone realizes they’re the inspiration behind my rant.
Maybe that’s a good thing though.
I didn’t start a blog to become the epitome of what lifestyle/mom bloggers are today. I didn’t set out on a mission to follow in the footsteps of highly successful bloggers who sell out to all these different products in order to make a few bucks.
I started a blog to share myself – my thoughts and my experiences – with an audience who cares and can identify with what I have to share. Some of the most impactful blogs I’ve read from other bloggers haven’t been when they detail the pieces of clothing they wore on their latest trip to Bora Bora, but when they bare their soul and share more personal aspects of their life and how they cope and deal with it.
So while yes, someday I hope I do get paid to be a blogger, I’m not trying to cash in right this minute and make myself into something I’m not.
I want to share the stuff I don’t see other bloggers sharing enough. I want to have conversations about hard topics like mental health or spirituality or lifestyle changes to improve the state of the planet. I guess that desire is what makes me more comfortable being connected to my personal social media.
I want people to know these are my thoughts and opinions.
So if I had to do it over, would I do it the same? Eh, most likely.
I may have waited a few months longer, but in all honesty, who knows what creativity was being prohibited by prolonging the personal connection to my blog. Making the jump to connect with who I am in real life opened a lot more doors than I believe its closing.
In reality, I’m probably standing in my own way. I’m glad I’m allowing myself the opportunity to fully embrace myself in the digital world and the real world. I’m excited that I linked the accounts and I look forward to being able to merge my thoughts and opinions with who I am in my personal life.
I look forwarding to getting back into the swing of writing here more often and sharing these things I’ve been dying to share.