Just stop
Even as someone who perpetually talks throughout movies / shows (send prayers for my husband), when it’s time to pay money and go to a movie theater, I change my habits.
I don’t think my talking or commentary is a useful addition to the movie. Besides the few winces and laughs that I think other movie goers expect from those around them, I try to keep my commentary to myself until after the movie.
If I were at home, there would be no lack of questions like
“Wait, what’s the motivation there?”
“Oooo, that’s the same person/item/moment/quote from before!”
“Why is that the first thing they think to do?”
The list goes on…
I’m not afraid to share my 2 cents during the enjoyment of a film. I even preemptively apologize to other people who come over to watch things with me because I know that I will inevitably talk/say something during the course of the show. Talk doesn’t always mean that it’s some outside, unrelated topic having nothing to do with the movie. Most of the time my “talk” consists of critiques or questions regarding the film.
But thinking that my commentary adds any value to the show/movie is where I draw the line.
I don’t need to be the person who loudly announces to the entire theater “nailed it” after an extended, adrenaline filled fight scene and the hero gets his kill hit/shot in.
I do also think there’s a difference between someone having a quick whisper of “what did they say?” Or “how did they get there” is fine, as long as the response is another 1-2 sentence whispered answer. Not everyone in the audience follows the flow of stories 100% and I get that.
But being the person who yells at the characters, or even just loudly talks to the characters while in a movie theater is unacceptable.
As always, with most things I have strong feelings about, there are exceptions.
If it’s a comedy, and your commentary is also funny, awesome. More laughs during a comedy film are always appreciated.
If it’s a child making the commentary, fine, but don’t bring them to adult rated movies if they are curious little questioners. I regularly attend children’s movies, without children, and I know that there is some level of noise that is going to be associated with having a kid at the movie theater. They are learning, I get that. But don’t over do it. Teach them that movie theaters are places we go to behave differently than we do at home. We don’t take our shoes off at the movie theater (at least I hope you don’t…) and we also don’t use our regular voice when we ask questions during a movie.
My last exception is horror films (not suspense films) where things are too creepy and the main character is just too dumb. If you’re the person saying “don’t go in there” to the main character, yes I agree and thank you for breaking the awkward silence that is 1000% giving me a panic attack during the course of the film.
Otherwise, let’s try our best to be quiet and courteous to those around us while we share the experience of watching a movie together.
Or… you can just stay home and wait for it to be available to stream on whatever platform you have.