Lots more personal questions are being asked, which is kind of fun but also repetitive.
A lot of women are unsupportive or critical of my desire to take a more natural approach to birthing. I’m trying to remember it’s more of a projection of their own fears/experiences than a reflection of my capabilities. I can’t imagine how discouraged I would feel if I didn’t adopt that perspective early on in pregnancy. Most of the stories women in my life try to tell me about labor and birth are horror stories. I’m sad that many women in my life even have horror stories associated with birth to share with me.
In a world where we are pressured to numb ourselves of every discomfort and “unpleasant” experience, I’m opting out. I want to feel the full weight of what it’s like to birth my child. I want to experience the euphoria of knowing how capable and magnificent my body, mind, and spirit truly are through the process of birthing my child. Apparently that’s a weird thing in this part of the world.
However, I’m not going to be so stubborn with wanting a natural birth that I compromise the safety of my child or myself. If I get the message from my body that I need assistance, I will gladly ask for and take whatever assistance is available. I’m just not planning to do it off the bat.
I used to have the opinion that if I were to ever get pregnant, there was no other way I would have my children than fully drugged and sedated so my body could just shoot the baby out without me noticing. Which, after doing research and learning more about the benefits and downsides of medicated labors, I realize is not exactly how this thing works. How can I expect my body to do its most strenuous and meaningful work if I’m not present in my body during that time? Short answer: I can’t.
Baby is as big as a butternut squash. I honestly don’t know what that means, but I do know I can feel their whole body a lot more now than just the little kicks.
My husband told me I’m a mean pregnant lady, but I’ve felt that my mood and disposition have been really good. Especially in terms of my depression and anxiety. Before getting pregnant my doctor had mentioned how some women are able to have their symptoms of depression and anxiety decrease during pregnancy as hormones kick into over drive. Thankfully, this has happened for me during pregnancy. I have been off medications for a while now and have felt relatively few symptoms through this point, which I feel blessed to experience as I know for many women this is a time where there is more stress and anxiety than ever before.
We’ve also been going to a lot of Timbers games lately, which has been so fun!
Every time we go Austyn and I talk about how we can’t wait to bring our tiny one with us to games. With those little earmuff things that babies wear and their own little Timbers gear. It will be such a fun experience to share the world with them.
I haven’t started to get too tired or sore just yet, but I know that it’s due to set in any time now. So far, pregnancy has still been fairly easy for me. Which, as always, I feel kind of guilty for admitting but it’s true. I was sick in the beginning for a little bit but overall pregnancy has been much much easier than many of my friends and family described it. I think I inherited the easy pregnancy gene from my mom and paternal grandma who both have said that based on the ease of pregnancy alone and how much they enjoyed it, they could have gone through pregnancy many more times than they did.
Now fingers crossed I inherit my grandma’s ability to go through natural labor and birth and tell people “Oh, it wasn’t painful. It was actually pretty easy.”