How often do you lie?
Odds are that it’s a couple times a day. Small lies like when someone asks you, “How’s your day going?” and it’s not going so great but you just respond, “Good” because explaining the truth of the matter just takes too long.
Truth isn’t always simple. Truth is sometimes complex and requires an explanation.
I know there are people out there who would claim otherwise – that truth is something in its simplest form, completely understandable from even one word.
But I just don’t think so. Sometimes the truth is a woven tapestry of explanation. Words to describe setting, time, place and emotion to convey the heart of a matter. Sometimes truth isn’t simple. Sometimes truth is a story.
Sometimes truth needs to be uncovered. Often times, we as humans enjoy the uncovering process. I mean, tell me that’s not a contributing factor to why murder mysteries are so enthralling. The slow unraveling of a story keeps us engaged, learning, questioning, observing, and growing. The uncovering of truth can be mesmerizing.
Some truths can take years to uncover. For example, many of my own truths of acknowledging and accepting myself for who I am took me years to uncover and incorporate into my understanding of myself. For some, the truth of their sexual identity is one that can take years to uncover and embrace. We all have something on our journey that takes time, perseverance, acceptance, and a heavy serving of self love to uncover and incorporate.
So sometimes, it’s just easier to lie.
It’s easier to play the part that others expect us to play. It’s easier to fit into this ill-fitting role and hope that no one notices how miserable or uncomfortable we really are. It’s easier to lie than it is to risk exposing ourselves as frauds, impostors, or worst of all – show someone who we really are in that moment.
Sometimes it’s easier to just not speak the lies, but to let others fill in the blanks. Because we can convince ourselves that’s not really lying in the first place, right? It’s just leaving out some details that people really don’t need to know. Like when we are in a group of friends and someone makes a joke that hits a tender nerve, for one reason or another. It’s easier to laugh, to play along like what they said and shared isn’t hurtful or bothersome. It’s easier to blend in than it is to point anything like that out.
It’s easier to fade into the background during times like that, and all the other times that we aren’t sure we want to be seen for who we really are.
But that’s not entirely true… is it?
Each of us, under all the conditioning and self-narrative, desperately wants to be seen and loved for who we are to our core. The person that’s left after all the lies we tell ourselves and others have worn down. After all the fancy clothes, college degrees, money, job titles, or roles that we play in family or work are stripped away.
What are you left with?
So while it might be easier to blend in, to do anything in your power to make sure that your truth isn’t seen and acknowledged, I wonder how many of us would feel whole and free if we just started with the truth.
I’m not sure about you, but I’m ready to take that risk and find out exactly what life looks like when I don’t have to carry the burden of other peoples expectations on my shoulders anymore.
Care to join me?