Baby Cole – Week 36

Hospital bag is still partially packed because I’m nervous to the max and have no idea what life is even going to look like once I’m “officially” a mom. Like what if I don’t like sweatpants anymore? Seems like a stretch, but I’ve never known myself as a mom before so really anything is possible. Plus, I’m trying to consciously hold space for the new version of myself that I will simultaneously be giving birth to during this event. But really, I think she will still like sweatpants so I’m probably fine.

Baby’s room is slowly coming a long. Slowly. We had a hang up with the crib (fun fact, trying to use a crib from your childhood sometimes doesn’t work out how you thought it would) and I feel like we have way more stuff than we really need and not enough space to organize it. Realistically I know we have enough space, but adding a whole new person to the gig is starting to become apparent in the number of boxes and clothes and just overall stuff we have.

I chose a poor time to focus on our consumerism habits. However, we have been gifted SO MANY second hand things, which was exactly what I wanted so I’m really relieved on that front.

We had two baby showers this week. I know, two seems a bit much, but that’s what worked best for our blended families and being able to have all the people we wanted there. It was truly so wonderful to be surrounded by so much love and appreciation for the expansion of our family. It’s become so apparent to me that, while sure – I’m the one who’s physically pregnant – our entire family is involved in this new chapter. The outpouring of support and love from our family and friends has to be one of my favorite parts about this entire pregnancy. It’s been so surreal to me, especially as someone who has battled depression and feelings of isolation, to be completely inundated with pure love and excitement.

Austyn has been getting more and more excited as the days go on. I think for dads it can be challenging to be 100% involved 24/7 during pregnancies because it’s harder to connect with something happening so clearly in someone’s else’s body. Now that’s not to say Austyn hasn’t been a supportive and doting husband. (He’s the one who was ready for babies much before I was!) But I can see now that the arrival is much closer, all his dad instincts are revving up and he’s so ready to meet our new best friend.

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