by Or maybe it’s both. Probably it’s both.
I am fine being labeled as sarcastic and describe myself accordingly. My quick wit is one of my favorite qualities. However, it has come to my attention that not everyone enjoys sarcasm.
No, I really didn’t know that prior to now. People rarely say anything.
Probably because I’m regularly sarcastic, people think they can’t be serious and tell me when my pointy words strike a nerve. They might think I’ll use it against them or something. As if my sarcasm has the goal of hurting others. (For clarity sake: I don’t use sarcasm to hurt people, though I know in my younger years I have. If I don’t like you, I don’t talk to you or even use sarcasm around you. I just turn it all off.)
I talked with a coworker this week about sarcasm and she started to tell me about a child she knew who was “just the worst to deal with” because of his sarcasm. Ouch.
She proceeded to explain that this child annoyed everyone in the group settings they found themselves in and she took him aside to explain to him that it would be better if he was silent and shared no remarks because it makes everyone else uncomfortable. Ouch again.
So instead of guiding this child toward a path of enlightened wit rather than hurtful sarcasm, she suggested he stop talking all together. That he suppress who he is and what he thinks for the benefit of the whole, rather than offering appropriate times or topics for the jokester to comfortably express themselves.
I read a few psychological analyses of “why sarcasm isn’t funny” and how sarcastic people are just “angry, inadequate, and fearful” humans and I couldn’t stop rolling my eyes.
It’s one of those moments you think, “Wow everyone is on the same page and they’re wrong. They’re just wrong idiots.” (please see: sarcasm)
I get it. Sarcasm can make people feel victimized. It can make people feel hurt and belittled if they’re not aware of the intention in the sarcastic person’s heart. If there even is one. I don’t speak for all sarcastic people. Some of them could be heartless assholes who are bent on wreaking emotional havoc on others, who knows.
However, I would pose the un-sarcastic question: what if everything didn’t need to be so serious? What if there were appropriate places and topics for us to use sarcasm and jest? What if someone’s desire to use satire didn’t have to be a reflection of a psychological deficit?
Again, I get it. Sarcasm can seem hostile, depending on the person. It can seem like someone is completely detached and uncaring about the world around them. But does it have to be that way? Does sarcasm have to be this “underdeveloped wit” that everyone agrees is better to be suppressed and not shared?
Or could sarcasm be the answer to all life’s problems? Could it be a method for us to express our pointed observations in ways that don’t belittle other people and their experience of the world, and instead unite us in the realization that life just sucks sometimes and it’s okay to notice that and point it out. A little joke here and a poke there about certain topics help us all laugh it off and not take ourselves and the problems we face so seriously.
Or hey, maybe we can just flood the internet with articles about how sarcastic people are psychologically inept and pull children aside from group settings to tell them to stop being themselves and change who they are so everyone else is more comfortable. Whatever works!
